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Monday, May 30, 2011

hmmmmm

So there's this girl.... (yes there usually is)

And even though she's 1400km away, she still manages to make me smile. I realise that she's "not good with emotions" and I think that's part of the whole appeal but its so interesting to see another side to her, one that I was never exposed to being just her friend.

Under her 'bitchy' exterior, I've found a funny, charming, sometimes sweet (don't tell her I said so, though) and just a down to earth person, who I find myself often thinking about. (I have to add that she is incredibly sexy and has a slight lisp (I LOVE LISPS))

She is somewhat included in the reasons for me being excited to visit Joburg in July

And even though she doesn't do the whole 'emotions' thing, I find her completely intriguing...

Monday, May 23, 2011

Accidental Babies - Damien Rice

Well I held you like a lover
Happy hands and your elbow in the appropriate place

And we ignored our others, happy plans
For that delicate look upon your face

Our bodies moved and hardened
Hurting parts of your garden
With no room for a pardon
In a place where no one knows what we have done

Do you come
Together ever with him?
And is he dark enough?
Enough to see your light?
And do you brush your teeth before you kiss?
Do you miss my smell?
And is he bold enough to take you on?
Do you feel like you belong?
And does he drive you wild?
Or just mildly free?
What about me?

Well you held me like a lover
Sweaty hands
And my foot in the appropriate place

And we use cushions to cover
Happy glands
In the mild issue of our disgrace

Our minds pressed and guarded
While our flesh disregarded
The lack of space for the light-hearted
In the boom that beats our drum

Well I know I make you cry
And I know sometimes you wanna die
But do you really feel alive without me?
If so, be free
If not, leave him for me
Before one of us has accidental babies
For we are in love

Do you come
Together ever with him?
Is he dark enough?
Enough to see your light?
Do you brush your teeth before you kiss?
Do you miss my smell?
And is he bold enough to take you on?
Do you feel like you belong?
And does he drive you wild?
Or just mildly free?

What about me?
What about me?

On account of my loving you forever...




Sunday, May 22, 2011

You/Me/Us/We

Today I heard "Let's go to the park. I wanna kiss you underneath the stars."

And it made me miss you. Something I haven't done in a long time.


I wonder why it's the good memories that hurt the most...


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Brushing Shoulders

SO

Yesterday probably one of the best days I've had in a long time!

It started with going to Jamaica Me Crazy for the most delicious half price Camenbert burger, followed by half price movies at the Waterfront where we bumped into.... give me a second... JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS!!!!!

We couldn't believe our eyes and he was so casual about it, just sitting outside by the walkway, "waiting for my taxi" he said in his delicious Irish accent. I have to say that he has the most amazing eyes and for a moment I couldn't talk, I just stood there looking at his eyes with a goofy smile on my face (death haha)

But then we watched Your Highness and I think all the boys and I nearly died when we saw Natalie Portman. Let me just say, that movie has A LOT of bare skin so you will get your money's worth haha

And of course we ended the night with half price cocktails.

I think the friends I was with made it completely worth it! Jaz, Sarah, Kieran, Ali, Skye and Rob, I love you all. You're all bad ass and great fighters haha


Here's some proof in case you didn't believe me:



That's all<3

Monday, May 16, 2011

If little by little you stop loving me

If You Forget Me
-Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

crush.crush.crush

Crush: verb - To press between opposing bodies so as to break or injure

My meaning for crush is something completely different. A crush is someone who makes me smile uncontrollably without even saying anything. Someone who gets me excited by just saying hello. Someone who I get easily embarrassed in front of and for some reason all my funny goes out the door and instead I just become awkward. I will continuously look at their Facebook page and probably saucy drunk text on a few occasions.

Recently a girl who I've had a crush on for quite a while has told me she has a crush on me :D

Straight away I started feeling all excited and warm inside. The people around me could tell that something was different with me and I decided that having a crush must be one of the best feelings a person can experience.

Even if nothing had to happen with this crush, I think the feeling has been reward enough and I hope that for as long as I'm alive this feeling never goes away.

Crush: verb -To hug, especially with great force  (this is exactly what I want to do)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Natalie, you babe!

I have decided that my obsession with Natalie Portman is very unhealthy. I think almost every movie I've watch in the last while has had her in it. Shes even in my dreams :/ Can I just tell you the movies I've seen with her in them?

  • Star Wars
  • V for Vendetta
  • Closer
  • Garden State
  • Black Swan
  • Where the Heart Is
  • Her rap video
  • My Blueberry Nights
  • Mr Magorium's Wonder Epmorium
  • Anywhere But Here
  • Paris, Je t'aime
  • The Other Boleyn Girl
The remainder of her films are very soon to be a part of it!

You surely Can't blame me though. She has the most delicious mouth and speaks in the sexiest way... Especially when she says "cheeky" 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH









One of my favourites<3





The eyes. Really.




Well here are my justifications<3

Layer Cakes





So I found this picture and it made me think of Cayla and her lovely Layer Cake blog. I really miss her and I hope she is having a delicious day. I love you silly little Gayla. Now come plaaaaaay<3

Monday, May 9, 2011

Life's Little Quirks

I just had the weirdest/cutest moment. While walking along the main road, on my way home I was approached by a homeless man. I was startled because I didn't see him coming and after asking me how I was he proceeded with "I'm really sorry to do this to you" - immediately I started to panic, I was expecting the worst and thought he was going to mug me of my phone or roller bag I was dragging behind me.

Instead, he asked if I had any coins to give him. I reached into my wallet and after pulling out only a few cents I had this overwhelming sensation to give him something more. So I asked him to walk across the road with me so I could draw some money for him. I could only afford to give him R50 but still he was so grateful and he decided to walk me home.

On our walk he explained his feelings of climatic changes and how Cape Town can experience three seasons in just one day. We were joking and I got to see a completely different side to what I had expected. He was so warm. When we finally arrived outside of my flat I shook his hand and wished him luck and his reply really surprised me.

"It's not for me to thank you. I believe there is a higher power that will thank you for me, in the form of a miracle"

I am now going to bed with a warm heart<3

Don't give up on society altogether, you never know when you'll get your next surprise.

A Day for You, Mom.

So yesterday was Mother's Day and even though I wasn't with my mom, the day didn't lose its importance. I am a full-blown mommy's girl and I always will be. That may be because I have a mom worth mentioning.

Jenefer Lynne Lozzi, a blonde bombshell who only has the capacity to love. I have so many moments I hold dear to me that involve my mom. Moments such as air guitaring to Bohemian Rhapsody, wrestling just to see who is stronger, getting breakfast in bed without having to ask for it, getting six calls a day from her if I'm not feeling well and laughing uncontrollably about nothing at all.

My mom and I haven't had the easiest road and I would be lying if I said that I wish some things were different, but I love her for who she is and for everything she has done for me.

She has given me something that can't be bought or traded, she has given me more love than I'll ever need.

My mom can't afford to buy me the world, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't if she could. My mom would give me money if i needed it, even though she doesn't have lots of it. My mom helped me through my toughest challenges. When I was suffering depression, she picked it up before anyone else and help me get over it. When my heart was broken, my mom would sit up with me and wipe away my tears. Instead of getting upset and bad mouthing the girl who broke my heart, she would tell me that everything is going to be alright and that I should never stop loving. My mom takes pride in the fact that I'm different. Most importantly, my mom accepts that I am gay and she loves me none the less.

This woman has inspired me to be who I am. She has inspired me to help others and to love no matter what. I hope that one day I am half the mother that she is and I know she's going to make just as great a granny to my children.

Mama, you are the light of my life and whenever I miss you, I know that you are in my heart and that's as far as i have to look.

I love you<3 with my heart and soul<3

Me and my mama

"Being a good parents isn't about giving your child the world, it's about giving them a world of love"

Happy Mother's Day

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Torch of Q&A

Cayla, my dear Cayla, passed on the torch of question to me and I shall answer them at the best of my ability. Take a look at her answers at Layer Cake

 "I have decided to post a few questions about me and answer them in order for anyone who reads my blog to get to know me a little bit more, if they don't already. I am then going to pass this onto a fellow blogger to answer and they can then pass it on too, its a great way to get to know the people of my little "blog world". Here we go..."

Where did the title of your blog come from or what inspired it?

Under My Skin - was just how I saw things. This is a blog that allows people to see who I am behind my appearance (under my skin) and to get to know me. The real me I guess.

Are you more of an extrovert or an introvert?

I'm pretty much an extrovert in any situation. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad but most the time it's just silliness:)

What makes you really sad?

Missing someone / People that can't forgive / People thinking they're better than animals / Movies about love / When I run out of tea / When I don't have feelings for someone who has them for me / Music / Children's books / When my clothes get stolen / Saying goodbye / When you wait for that reply and it never comes. Sigh.

What makes you really happy?

Music / Oreo McFlurries with extra oreo in the middle of the night / When someone randomly thinks of me / Dancing / Rain / Poetry - Pablo Neruda / Going on pretend dates with boys / Writing / My baby (doggy) back home / When I walk down Long Street and feel the energy of everyone around me / Going to Rcaffe to eat the best sandwich in the world and sitting in the window to people watch / Phone calls that never end / Watching series with Sarah / Cheesy puffs (the ones you bake) / Brushing my teeth / When someone gives you something that came from their heart / Someone giving me their heart.

Favorite book you have ever read?

No book has ever made me happy and sad and in love all at the same time, the way that Looking for Alaska did.

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in the town of Edenvale in Johannesburg where my whole family still currently lives. I am the first child from the family to leave that town.

What is your favorite event from your adulthood so far?

Being in love and moving to Cape Town<3

What is your favorite event from your childhood?

When my whole family, including my 9 cousins, 5 aunts and uncles, parents and grandparents used to have game days. just spending the whole day having one-legged races in the garden, doing handstands, dancing and singing. 

Just  random memories - my mommy used to make me warm cornflakes with the sugar on top. She knew exactly how I liked it.
When she was making supper that included rice she would always give me a small bowl of rice before everything was ready, with a bit of butter melted into it. It made me feel special.
When my brother got mumps he gave it to me too and I remember my mom sitting on her bed with my head on her one leg and my brother's on the other. We were both crying in agony and she just sat there all day, stroking our heads and wiping away our tears. 

I guess my mom holds a very special place in my heart. I could never live without her.

What is your motto in life?

I don't really have a motto. I guess I just try act as silly as possible and say things when they shouldn't be said. I'd hate to die being the girl who took things too seriously or who had too many secrets.

What kind of people do you get along with?

I like people who don't try too hard. People who don't take me seriously because they'd be extremely offended otherwise. People who I could possibly fall in love with, because if you could love them, you sure as hell can like them=)

What are you best at?

I think I'm best at falling in love. I fall in love with people and things too easily. But I don't think in a bad way, I think that finding something in someone to love, makes you a braver person. I also forgive very easily, I'm great at that. If someone needs me, I'll be there.

Who do you respect the most?

People who can forgive and my parents.

Would you like to be famous?

Not famous, just known. I'd like to be known for doing something I love and being good at it.

What kind of man/woman would you like to marry?

Someone who can laugh as much as I do. Someone who I can be a child with. Someone who can find beauty in anything. Someone who wants to ask me questions just to hear the sound of my voice. Someone who wants to share themselves. Someone who wants to go driving around in the middle of the night to hold my hand. Someone who will dance with me in the rain. Someone who loves my family and friends as much as I do. Someone who isn't scared of "forever" <3

What cartoon character best fits you?

Mickey Mouse because he was nothing without his friends, he wasn't afraid of loving Minnie, he liked adventures and helping out when problems arose, he had fun every moment he could, he was topless (tee hee) and he was a cartoon whereas i dream of being one.

If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?

France because I would die of happiness waking up every morning to that accent.

If you could try anything and could not fail, what dream would you attempt?

To be a singer for an Indie band (don't laugh)

What superpower would you want and why?

"To read minds and to teleport" - going with Cayla on this one, but also the power to turn sadness into happiness. I hate seeing people sad.

Are you a beach, country, or city girl?

I'm a Cape Town girl because it has a bit of everything - beach, mountains, city and a bit of country.



I'll now pass these questions over to my friend Gemma at eMOTIVE
She's new to the blogging world so show her some support!
Thank you <3

Upsie, Downsie.

I am now very convinced that the weather in Cape Town is worse than a hormonal teenage boy. Hot and then cold, up and down, windy and rainy. It's cold in the morning and then blistering in the afternoon and visa versa.

This kind of behavior is enough to get any young gal dazed and confused.

Just like the weather, my emotions seem to be on some kind of roller coaster too. I feel warm and fuzzy and then overly excited and then I feel slight melancholy. I can't sleep and that leads to me acting in a delirious manner with the use of incomplete sentences and incorrect hyperbole.

I think my head and my heart need a vacation. Somehow I feel like I'm on an 'emotion cliff-edge' if you will...