Monday, October 18, 2010

Right To The Core*

I couldn't keep from floating away, she jailed my gravity and magnetised my entire being to the centre of her soul.

I realise that love isn't about falling, its not getting deeper into that person. Love is instant, its seeing that person, and you can't fall because you're already a part of her. You can't get any deeper because you're at her core, you're living on her heartbeat. Everything that happens after that, keeps you alive, it makes sure your head and heart are filled with a timeless video stream of every moment which has the power to eventually block out the hurt.

For the time being, I trust my soul to wonder around freely, surviving on that video stream and trying to resist the magnetic force of a previous heartbeat...

If it doesn't swallow my soul entirely from the first breath, I don't find it worth pursuing. I want a love that I can't keep my core away from. Something that keeps me alive, gives my soul a heartbeat.

I want a love that lasts forever<3

A New Painted Smile

Firstly I have to apologise for not writing in soooo long, but I have been extremely busy!!

Here's just a few things I've been doing:
-Gay Pride: this year was possibly even bigger than last year but heat definitely put a downer on things:( none the less, we ran around, took photies, broke gay sticks (not my fault) and then had thee worst Seattle freezo thingys after.
I think after some sun damage, going to two 21st's was NOT a good idea because by the end of the night I was so exhausted I was acting irrationally and riding on the bonnets of moving cars (which, I might add, is tougher than it looks)
All I can say is Colly, Nats, Nic and Candance in their bra's= haaaaat:p (they got hit on by more lesbians than me)

Then we fast forward a bit and arrive at this previous Monday...

I'll start by saying, I have recently gone through a decent amount of emotional turmoil...

So I decided this week would be one for the books (which it was)
I ended up going out every night of the week, this included : Greenside, Q-ba, Manhattan, Hooters, Tao and a Big Fat Greek Wedding. I have now discovered how fun it is to not wear underwear and also that drinking 7 nights in a row, lowers your alcohol intolerance. Oh and Jew people aren't as bad as I used to think and I've found a new love for them, especially papa Jew Crs;)

Ps. CCHQ is NOT what it used to be. Sigh.

* * * * * * * * *

I also learned a few things about myself...
I realised that there are no people that I hate. Not even the people who might have hurt me more than anything. Not even the people who I trusted the most and they broke me completely. Yes, I may be seen as the pathetic girl whose cries over people instead of just taking action and getting revenge. Or even hating those people. But in my opinion, hate is for the weak.

It is so easy to hate someone. It takes nothing out of your life.
But to love someone, even after they've crushed you, takes the most courage. Think about how many people become hardened after being hurt and then think about the people who have had the toughest lives and yet still continue to love with an open heart... Those are the people I look up to.

Love is the strongest emotion of all and the most hurtful. So to keep going back to it, takes guts.

So the next time you see a crying, pathetic person, who just can't move on, please don't look at them as being weak, because they are stronger than anyone else. Those are the people worth having in your life.

Unconditional love means forgiving someone no matter how they've hurt you or what they've done. And I'm proud to say that I believe in unconditional love and even though my heart is breaking, I will never stop believing in love.

I promise I will never wait this long again to blog<3