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Friday, September 28, 2012

A Letter To My Darling - No.2

Let me start by telling you how beautiful you are. Wonderfully beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

I woke up with a heavy heart this morning. I had spent the night dreaming of you but not once would you let me see your face. I chased you around corners and through crowds to no avail. And then I thought that it was a sign, that I wasn't worthy, that I was just a girl who had words to offer in the place of kisses.

I could sit and look at your name on my screen all night but that wouldn't change anything. I'd think of things to say like how you make things better, even the taste of tea, or how I've had the impulse to buy a ticket home and remind you of our shaky breath the first time we kissed in your car. I keep thinking of what you said last night, how you wish you could reply without feeling bad and that broke my heart. Surely we should be allowed to say what's in our heart?

And then I realise I've said too much, like I always do, because self restraint is not something I can associate with you. No, when I think of you, I think of how we can find magic in the most peculiar of places. How we shouldn't brush something off before we've gotten to know it, the way you've gotten to know me and found comfort in my already flawed way of thinking. That means the world to me by the way, so thank you.

You really are beautiful. I can't stop picturing the way your eyes smiled whenever we found each other in the crowd and how our fingers weren't happy unless they were tied together. I'd spend my life sailing just to learn how to knot up our souls so no one could separate me from you.

I'm sorry your world is riddled with hurt and confusion. 
I'm sorry that this letter is drenched in melancholy.
But mostly, I'm sorry that I couldn't be saying this to your face.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. I can only hope that the sun will shine for you always.

Yours faithfully,
Jenique




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